It’s been a long time since I posted. In March, I was laid off. I knew that cuts were a possibility. They were mentioned months earlier. I asked point blank about my job and my staff’s job and was told we would not be cut. Our office was too small to sustain cuts. In Mid February, I was told the same thing. There was nothing to cut from my budget.
One day, I was at home for my lunch break. DH had an appointment with his cardiologist to schedule his pacemaker to be implanted, and I came home to watch the kids during the appointment. I nursed Lucas, then played with him. Someone rang the doorbell. I don’t usually answer the door, but I got up to see who it was. I saw it was the HR Director “Geoffrey.” What th-? I was puzzled. Why was he here? I put Lucas down and opened the door. I saw an envelope in his hands, and another HR person standing a few feet behind him. She was not looking in my direction. As soon as I saw the envelope, I knew I was being let go. Fired. I felt instantly sick. He said something, but I didn’t hear him. “Did I do something wrong?” I asked. “No, it’s just the budget. There were ten other people affected. It’s all in the letter.” “Can I go to work and get my stuff?” “Yes.”
As soon as I closed the door, I was nearly hysterical. I am the sole supporter of four kids. What the heck am I going to do? Fired? (technically laid-off, but it feels like being fired). I called Joe over and over. Of course, he wasn’t answering the phone. I needed to talk to him. Lucas was upset that I was upset, but I couldn’t stop crying. I didn’t really read the letter. I saw that I got 30 days notice, but I would be paid admin leave for those 30 days. That’s it. No severance. I read about other people who get severance packages. Not here. Just a cold letter.
When Joe got home, I went to work and packed my office as quickly as I could. I wanted out of there. I ran into my boss when I turned in my key. Keeping my wits about me, I said that I understood his decision and such because I wanted to get a good reference. When I came home, I applied for a job that was open and got it sent in that day. I started calling people I know to let them know I was looking for work. I cried and cried, too. If I let myself think about it, I cry about it now, but I rarely let myself think about it.
I set a goal to apply for one job a week, and I met that goal, but I spent most of my time looking for work. Once I went through dozens of sites, I had to go back through them in case anything new posted. It was tiresome.
Now, although I got the first job I applied for but it pays half of what I was making, I am going on interview after interview. I manage to get through the panel interviews, but that’s it. I’ve made it to the top 4, the top 3, the top 2, but still waiting for that top 1.