When I was pregnant in 2001 with my first daughter, I picked out a crib. It was a Baby’s Dream with a fold down side, not a drop side. My husband said we wouldn’t need a crib as the baby should sleep in the bed. I was worried. I didn’t want to roll on my baby!
Then Molly was born on Christmas Eve. She was, according to the nurse, a cuddle baby. That is, I couldn’t put her down. I was in the hospital by myself (i sent hubby home to sleep) & I wasn’t going to send her to the nursery. I had a hard time even using the bathroom because Molly would cry everytime I put her down. The nurse told me to just hold her while I slept. I expressed my concern about dropping her, and the nurse said “you aren’t going to drop your baby”, so I held her.
I held her for weeks. She definitely wouldn’t sleep in the now useless crib. (which is good because that crib had a repair notice sent out for having hinges that break. Our hinges had broken, too)
It took a couple of months to be able to have her even lay next to me out if my arms. In the day, my husband, an at home dad, wore her in the Baby Bjorn carrier. Hubby moved to a mattress at the foot of our queen mattress.
When the second baby was on the way, we bought a king sized bed. We put the mattress directly on the floor to make a fall hazard safer, and a toddler matress next to us for Molly. Eventually, Molly moved to a bed farther from our bed, then her own room. Each daughter has followed the same pattern.
I love it. As a working mom, I don’t see the kids a lot, so having them in my bed let’s be close to them. Also, i nurse, so at night, I don’t have to get out of bed, so I sleep better.
We’ve made some sacrifices to have all of our babies in the bed in turn. Hubby didn’t share bed for a few years. At one point I had one baby on one aide, with a toddler on the other. Making sure to keep them apart with me between them.
Another sacrifice is sleeping on a mattress on the floor because if the baby rolls off, he only falls a few inches.
I also can’t drink alcohol or take allergy meds. The most I take is Advil.
Sex can be difficult because there’s a baby in the bed. We manage about once a week, but it takes commitment.
I can’t movecat night. I used to be the kind of person who tosses and turns, but now I’m very still, and sometimes I ache with wanting to move, but I don’t
The plusses, sweet baby using my breast as a pillow. Waking up and seeing sleeping baby. Hearing or feeling baby start to wake in middle of night and nursing him before hebfullu wakes up. Waking up to a baby grabbing my nose. Cuddles and giggles. Knowing the baby is safe and perfect temperature.
If you can’t give up medication and drinking, if you are a heavy sleeper, or have sleep issues, don’t cosleep. Never let a child cosleep with a baby. Never. Never cosleep on the couch or on an unsafe bed. Gaps between mattress and headboard (we don’t have one) can entrap a child. Don’t cosleep on high beds. Be smart.